2005/11/20

Test.....

today gonna be test day...
sorta worried because i didn't study for it...
nevertheless...im beginning to hack care it....
coz im gonna quit school anyway...
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ironic right??
welll....can't be helped...im going india next year...
so won't be keeping up with school....besides...
i found some better place.....
Dun ask me what im studying....if ya dunno,
most probably i didn't want you to know.
So for poeple who is still tracking this space...for whatever reasons...
heres something to look at:
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2005/11/16

Perceptions ??

I just came home from work again, and i suddenly remembered something.
Thats something is called a habit.
A habit that I developed because of others, or should you say
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SOCIETY.
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I can never understand ladies, or probably I should start
understanding them. Its always these few groups of ladies whose
living in my flat that always have the
" DUN TRY TO TOUCH ME"
kinda look. Whenever I take lifts these days,
I try to avoid taking them with young ladies ; especially
late nights.
WHY? they keep giving you the F$$k off look that
somewhere down the elevator your gonna strip their clothes.
[And most of the time they ain't pretty]
So, I finally decided to have a habit to save my own image;
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[I actually did think about it that probably I DO look like a
BEAST thus giving them that impression]
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I decided to grab my keys out and play with them once
i gotten into the lift letting the strangers know I DO LIVE
here for CHRIST SAKE.....
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What exactly has gotten into the world???
Are we living in a country that really is secure???
FREAKS

2005/11/15

LieSss....

Lies and Lies and Lies.
I found out how unappreciated you can be
even how far you have gone. For somethings,
people just simply care for themselves no matter
what you have done for them. I couldn't expect
to hear nonsense from such high level personnel
and maybe, well just maybe, I might do the same too.
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Confusing as can be, Some people lie infront of you
to make sure troubles dun get in their way or they lie
to make sure they get out of trouble. Why can't eveyone just
say "look, i just dun wish to help you." instead of lieing.
Does it look more presentable because you actually thought
that lieing would get you away with things as easier as telling
the truth???
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Well of course, sometimes the truth is so hard to tell.
I just found out how pissed I am when I know someone is
actually trying to get the most out of me while giving
least. Probably I should stop doing that to others as well.
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Why can't I just do more and stop complaining??
If I can't even do it then why bother complaining?????
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Life is confusing.

2005/11/11

WeddinGzzZZ~~~

Just finish being a sword holder again, but this one round,
not only did i recieve the invitation card, it was more fun.
Partly because the group of sword holders were people I knew.
And also, the bridge-groom seemed more "ONz" and
really know how to talk cork on stage. Been thinking on and
off about weddingz since I have seen two.
Its really giving me the influence that I should probably get
married because its so,....wonderfuL?
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I used to think that only girls will think that way...
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Seems like I've gone sissy.
Or should I say, I really did think alot and probably thats because
of experience in life? I used to go for weddings when I was small
and it seemed like really idiotic where I can never understand
why they must spend money to treat people for dinner when they
can just sign the ROM and do a casual wedding at home.
It really was grand to be able to walk done the road facing your friends
telling them your stories. And its more grand even when you are
a officer having the previlage to give your wife a sacred military
wedding with sword holders......
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Life is facinating.....And probably I should
start to ponder more about life than working like a dog.
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why didn't i think so in the past??

2005/11/07

Birthday....

I suddenly remember all my birthday wishes never came true.
Perhaps I didn't blew hard on the candles.
I didn't even tell anyone what I wished for...
so actually I have been wondering for 20 ++ years what went wrong
and the only reason was probably my wishes were last minute thoughts.
So now, I have finally set a goal,
I am going to plan my birthday wishes in advance.....
But then again....
my friends always dun celebrate my birthdays....
-___-!!
Thus I really wished all those who actually knew and kay siao
during my birthday to
%$@#!!# and
@#$%#!$@!
and @!$%#!@$!@$#!%!@$!@
AND @!$%#!$@!$!$........................
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Forgotten~~

I actually forgotten what i wanted to post.
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I used to be forgetful, and i still have been.
Its late at night and im sorta restless.
Theres no one in this portal which I can speak to anymore,
or so it seems.
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I am lost.

2005/11/03

Revisit~~

Finally, Im back, back to a familiar shout space.
I can't helped but get back in. Its been 3 months. And somethings just can't
be forgotten. Was really shaken after hearing KangKang's song....
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诚实的伤害
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His latest ablum contains a few sedimental pieces.
And because of that, I guess I finally decided to talk online again....
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Life is still contradicting, and the hardest part and probably
only thing that we do everyday is making choices.
And I just made lots of choices recently.
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~Work~
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I decided not to go back to NYP. Not because I dun want to,
but because, theres really too much restriction I'm on.
As much as i liked, I would love to go back NYP DMD to become
a young lecturer. I really dunno how to break it out to my lecturer,
especially someone which inspired me sooo.... much and...
probably I will never have the chance to pick up the offer he gave.
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~Relationship~
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Lots of people decided not to ask me why i left her.
Some couldn't bother, most probably had their own judgement,
the closest ones knewn its hopeless even if they asked.
Sincerely, I dun even know wat to say.
But i guess leaving it behind was the best part i did?
because seems like her life is so much viabraint
[or was in vaibraint??]
last but not least, i'm still single and, till date,
I still dun understand why you always felt I had other girls outside.
Probably when i get older some day, more matured some day,
I might know why.
And when i dun wish to answer something,
its still the same reason,
"I just dun like to repeat myself with things which are just not there"
I do still missed the relationship.
And you will probably never know or believe that anymore.
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~LWS~
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Bahzz...I can't bare to leave the school, especially after
spending so many $$.... I will missed the classmates and...
my deposit ....lolx....life sux eh....I dun even know if i wanna continue
LWS after coming back from INDIA.
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~Animation~
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Somehow, I think i start to drift towards comic creation,
but i was AWE when i went back NYP and saw those
student works...I missed school days...I yearn for the studies and
project days....
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